I recently returned from vacation where I took some time to sit and watch the waves. They glide steadily in and out – ripples of sand leading to curling waves. The day before they were rough, crashing into the shore with intense fury, but today they are slow and steady. I can feel my heartbeat slow as I take in deeper and deeper breaths of warm, salty air. It makes me consider my clients – the quick fix. If they can slow down, take deep breaths and really notice what is around them – mindfulness – they are practicing one way of achieving long-term comfort.
I often am encouraging my clients, teens and adults, not to settle for the “quick fix”. Many have found strategies for soothing and distraction that are actually very destructive to their lives and promote illness. Everyone has times in their lives when they are feeling scared, down, confused, frustrated or unhappy. These are very difficult feelings to sit with and it is very natural to want a “fix” for the discomfort. The question is will the “fix” really be soothing and distracting, will it make him/her feel a bit better now and continue to feel better long term. Often, the answer is “no”. Maybe it will make him/her feel better in the short term but not in the long term. Engaging in ED behaviors, stimulating through technology, drinking, drugs, gambling, etc. as we know do not make a person feel better long term. Yet, they have an immediate affect on the discomfort one feels at the moment. We like this immediate comfort – we crave it. When I am working with my clients the first step is realizing that long-term comfort is far superior to a quick release and then devastating crash. There are many strategies that can be used to soothe and distract that are “slow release” and their impact extends beyond just a few minutes or hours. This is the path to health and healing.